Depression Hurts

After a life-long struggle with mild to moderate depression, I am finally medicated. It just got to the point where I thought I needed to try it. So far, I am not sure I like it. Sure, it's only been a couple days and I know that it takes time for the anti-depressant to do what it's supposed to do, but it is seriously messing with my sleep, which makes me even crabbier. This is not good. I am hoping my body is just adjusting and things will go smoothly from here on out.
I don't really know what I am hoping for out of this thing, anyway. Am I hoping for a magic pill that makes me happy and unaware? Unable to scream at my husband for no good reason? Unable to think spending a day in bed sounds like a good idea? Able to take the bad days along with the good and not obsess about what is going wrong? I don't know. I don't know what I expect. Partly, I expect nothing. I am historically not a med taker. Not prescription drugs, anyway. And when I do, they don't drastically change my life. The Clomid did not make me pregnant (though it did make me moody), the HGH hasn't done anything. Why should this be any different? Time will tell, I guess.

Getting Started

So I am starting a blog. (Accidentally typed "blag"...hmm.) Does anyone care what I think? I doubt it. I love to write and journaling has always been good for me, but I am so bad at it. I am thinking that actually having a blog might help remind me to write and get everything out. I know that keeping everything inside is so bad for you, but I constantly do it anyway. Like stuffing feelings makes them less real and easier to deal with. Anyway, I am not sure where I will go with this or how long it will last, but I'm going to give it a shot.